About Me

Who am I? I feel there was a time I wouldn’t have been able to answer that question; that period of my life, not so long ago now, when I was entangled deep within the mental illness known as anorexia nervosa. For much of that time, my identity was so deeply embedded within my eating disorder; almost totally consumed by it. Years of being unable to consume adequate amounts of food, directly linked to, and driven by, my eating disorder’s consumption of my sense of self and my identity. And very little it would have left if I hadn’t made that crucial decision to fight back and recover. I reclaimed my identity and my life, and the person who is really me finally began to resurface. Like sunshine nourishes the budding spring flower, recovery allowed my real self to finally emerge, burst forth and shine.

You’ve gone through so much and deserve to live at ease, loving yourself from the inside out.

I’m a 37 year-old girl who suffered from bulimia for 20 years, starting at the age of 14. Around 7 years ago I hit rock bottom, when feeling all the damaging effects of the illness from a psychological and physical perspective. I was tired of lying and feeling ashamed. I had gone through periods of recovery, then falling under the effects of bulimia again, passing through restriction and feeling awful inside out. I knew what I was doing wasn’t right but opening up about my thoughts and feelings again was tough, especially as in theory I was “recovered” after having gone to therapy for a number of months.

Living with and living without

Most people ask what it was like to live with an eating disorder, but few ask what it’s like now that I’m recovered. For most people, it isn’t something that completely goes away.

Are you wondering if you have a ‘valid’ eating disorder?

One of the experiences I value most from my years attempting recovery from an eating disorder has been the opportunity to listen to the voices of other people on the same path. I’ve heard people describe the mental, emotional and physical suffering that is part of their daily life and had no doubt in my mind that these people were suffering from ‘valid’ eating disorders. Yet over and over I’ve also witnessed the genuine suffering of these same people as they struggled with doubts as to whether they were ‘sick enough’ or ‘hopeful enough’ to deserve help.