About me
I am an Irish solicitor in my forties. I suffered with bulimia from my late teens to late twenties. At the time I didn’t think recovery was possible. My eating disorder completely consumed my every waking thought. Looking back, it saddens me to think of the unholy waste of precious time but I do believe every thing happens for a reason. Recovery was the best and most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. I felt compelled to write my book Food Fight Club to show that recovery is possible and if I can do it anyone can. Food Fight Club packs a punch. It is a forceful rule book to follow for recovery and from the horse’s mouth - it really works.
How I started to get help
The first step – opening up about this deadly secret is the hardest thing I ever had to do. Food is a good girl’s drug. I didn’t want to upset anyone. I was mortified by my behaviour and also pathologically terrified of relinquishing control – my eating disorder was my very sick and twisted raison de etre – I could not fathom living without it. Food and wanting to be thin was my first thought in the morning and last thought at night.
In university I just reached a point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I had run myself ragged. I had to confide in someone. I told a close friend and we arranged counselling. I needed the counsellor to confess to my family – like I was confessing to a grisly murder – I felt so guilty. My family arranged in -patient treatment in St Patricks hospital. I am still friends to this day with girls I met on the programme. It was excellent – dam hard at first but it got easier and they thought us how to eat properly again - like relearning how to walk.
What recovery is bringing to my life
People said I was brave for going on Ryan Tubridy’s radio show about my first book – Loopy Loo – an autobiographical cartoon story poem. I didn’t feel brave. I felt compelled to share my story. I learned from group therapy the power of sharing. Helping others recover makes me feel that I didn’t waste ten years in a toilet. Every day I am grateful for recovery. It is a blissful feeling to be able to leave your house, close the hall door without a dreaded fear of discovery, no more wrapper worry or the smell of bleached toilets.
What I wish I knew back then
Every day I regret the damage I did to my teeth. I had beautiful big white teeth after train tracks. Now I need several implants and I never show my teeth when I smile. I wish dentists had done more to help me open up – when they obviously knew I was bulimic.
My top tip/ words of advice
They are in my book! 20 funny quirky rules with images. Rules such as – Don’t go Hungry!
Ride a Horse! Never eat alone! Responsibility doesn’t have to be a scary word!
Don’t shrink to fit, see a shrink 😊